Half of us believe they’re the only practical option for a household that rises at speed in the morning. The other half think they look too stiff and formal for a home that also houses a dog who sees the living room window as his own personal news station. The fact that three years later we’re all still using them in three different rooms is testament to how this particular debate gets settled.
Advocates don’t need to make their case, non-believers understand immediately once they’ve lived with the alternative. You open your eyes, you want light. You grab the fabric, yank and – the whole lot comes smoothly gliding across the pole in one easy motion rather than that infuriating catch-by-catch parade ground march that turns raising your curtains into a fifteen minute dialogue of action and counteraction with a piece of fabric. No one’s up for that sort of nonsense in this house at 7am.
Especially not the one of us who, on separate occasions, has yanked a whole curtain off its railings trying to hasten proceedings along.
Lesson learnt there.
The issue of contention lies with the fold.
Each curtain hangs in these immaculate parallel waves when closed, which is frankly stellar in the pictures but mildly irritating when you consider that as soon as you open them up those neat folds will just stubbornly refuse to lie flat, instead flopping around like a party shimmy as if they couldn’t care less.
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One of us irons them.
Ask me not about that.
They’re also, something nobody tells you about, awful for a curtain pole that’s not quite hefty enough. Get the curtain to match the pole weight, don’t flip that order or you’ll find yourself watering of a beautifully bowed curtain pole within weeks as your brand new heavy blackout eyelets bend it in the middle and mock you every night when you come home.
The pair in our bedroom get ushered every morning and evening, no questions asked. No dramas or theatrics required. Which is honestly what it’s all about.
The lounge ones we probably only close three or four times a year when someone’s watching the telly and doesn’t want glare ruining the big screen experience and that’s alright too. Hell not every pair of curtains need to work hard.
All that’s stayed the same is you open and close them so quickly after trying the alternative that any curtain you come across that doesn’t just glide like it’s meant to opens you up all over again. That’s honestly the overarching conclusion. Not that they look smarter or fancier, but they allow you to ease your way into the morning without so much as a backwards glance.
