Someone buys a round mirror every time they move house. They hang it up, hate it because it’s “not quite right” and then leave it propped up against the wall for ten months rather than admit they put it in the wrong place and put it in the sell pile. That isn’t us painting with broad strokes. That is one person. We know this happened in at least four houses that we lived in respectively and nobody is going to pretend like we don’t know who it is.
The appeal needs no defence so we won’t bother explaining too much, but we’ll explain some anyway: square rooms deserve round mirrors. Literally every other thing you own marches little lines of intersection across every wall they can find.
The round mirror is the rebellion against that.
It’s the portal that gives your hall some breathing room.
No awkward angles pressing up against the door frame. No forced feedsection box grinding grit in the corner you’ll never really clean. It just exists, hangs quietly on the wall and immediately makes you look like you put more thought into your interiors than you actually did.
The reason why they become staples is for the moments you never think about when searching for the perfect mirror to hang above your console. Running your fringe around to check you didn’t sleep terribly like the rest of us. Seeing the dog endlessly trying to climb the curtains in the reflection behind you. Standing in front of it hungover on a Tuesday morning talking to yourself about whether or not today is actually going to exist. Any mirror with edges is going to make you feel analyzed. Inches all around, top to bottom, harsh lighting and nothing to soften the blow. But round ones mockingly grin at you through your flaws without consequence. It doesn’t make any sense when you think about how it’s exactly the same piece of glass.
The issue we have with one another is small but intensely staunch: at least two of us claim that getting a round mirror is lazy and trying to look like you went the nontraditional route when in reality all you did was that because you couldn’t be bothered. To that person: you’re right.
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We all do it.
Now everyone’s hallway is defined by a singular circle, all deluding themselves into thinking they’re the first on their street to buy into the round mirror hype.
The problems always arise when you actually hang them.
Someone hung theirs off centre by two whole centimetres for fucking four months before anyone said anything about it and the person who eventually told them still hasn’t let them live it down, brings it up at dinner parties sometimes, unsolicited. Someone lives in a hallway that directly faces a window and turns their entire hallway into a goddamn lighthouse at 4pm every summer because of how they hung their mirror. Swear they love it. We hate them.
Despite everything, we buy them every chance we get. Bathroom, hallway, that weird sliver of wall above your radiator that no other shape can fit. Someone will hang their new circle incorrectly come next month and someone will notice within the first week and say nothing about it for at least two weeks just to spite them. Welcome to our round mirror problems. The mirrors just get hurt everytime.
