Ok, let’s just get one thing straight: when I first started decorating I wasn’t keen on half bathrooms. To me they were those ignored rooms that nobody wants to decorate because what’s the point? Chuck a toilet and basin in a cupboard under the stairs, slap a coat of magnolia on the wall and call it a day.
That was until my friend Jess did hers (opens in new tab). Last month she’d invited me round for dinner and as I entered her downstairs toilet…wowzers! Admittedly it was teeny tiny – probably only about phone box sized – but the rich dark walls and chic vintage mirror she’d picked up in a car boot sale for a tenner made me realise she’d totally nailed it.
It was amazing what you could do with these spaces when you put your mind to it. Our first family home in Bulwell did come with a gross little half bath, crammed under the stairs.
Beige walls, beige accessories, plastic toilet roll holder that constantly fell off the wall and lighting so horrendous it made everyone look jaundiced.
Danny nicknamed it ‘the cave’ and honestly wasn’t far off. I avoided doing it because, well…I had better things to spend my money on. The full bathroom was an emergency job in-case-you-fell-in-it state, the kitchen was grim, the lounge was still rocking that hideous yellow floral paper from 1987.
Up until that moment I’d never even considered our little toilet needed love. But after seeing Jess’s creation, I started to look at ours in a new light. Ok so it’s probably the smallest room in the house.
I measured it once (don’t ask me why) and it’s only just over 4ft by 6ft, door swing area included. But here’s the thing. Decorating the smallest room actually came with one big bonus – you don’t need much stuff!
I started by stripping off that tacky, embossed wallpaper the previous owners had slapped up there. Beneath it was patchy plasterwork that needed a bit of smoothing but nothing too wild. Danny laughed when I announced I wanted to paint it dark teal. “It’ll look like a dungeon!” he said.
But by now I’d watched enough decorating YouTubers (opens in new tab) learn that darker colours actually make small rooms feel cosier rather than smaller. Gut instinct often knows best. Hit up B&Q (opens in new tab) for some paint.
I went for Dulux Heritage Teal, which was on offer as the store had mixed too much paint for someone else’s job. Cost me fifteen quid for enough paint to do the room twice over! The girl behind the paint counter eyed me up when I told her what I was doing it for. “Bold choice for a downstairs toilet,” she said scoffing.
Like us not wanting to feel like we’re entering Lady Richie’s powder room every time we need to spend a penny was her business… Needless to say, painting that teal made SUCH a difference. Suddenly the white toilet and basin actually looked crisp and clean, not ‘builder’s municipal’ white. And because the room is so small, you get that wow factor as soon as you open the door too.
Often when you decorate a room it takes a few seconds walking in for everything to sink in – but with a toilet you don’t have that gradual transition, so make it count! Lighting-wise old fluorescent strip was harsh so had to go. But ceiling was too low for a trendy pendant light and there wasn’t loads of wall space for wall lights either.
Found this gorgeous brass flush mount at a local reclamation yard in Arnold for £20. Turns out it used to belong to an old public house they were gutting and it throws this gorgeous ambient lighting that bounces off the teal walls beautifully. Storage was an issue as there literally isn’t any.
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But I did build a small floating shelf above the toilet – just some scaffold board from the builders’ merchant sanded down and stained to match the mirror frame. Cost about a tenner and means we have somewhere for a nice plant, some decent towels and a cute ceramic dish for rings when washing your hands. Mirror was also a bargain from Facebook Marketplace.
Gorgeous Art Deco style number with etched frame someone in West Bridgford was selling for £30. Cost me an afternoon faffing around trying to collect it (borrowed my brother’s car as it didn’t fit in ours) but oh my days is it bangin’. So much better than a bog standard rectangle mirror from B&Q.
Oh and here’s another tip: In a room this small you can pull absolutely ANYTHING away and get away with it. Our neighbour Kate did hers with black and white geometric wallpaper and though that would be crazy in a living room or bedroom it works wonders as a feature wall behind the toilet. It creates such a nice focal point in what would otherwise be a pretty generic room.
Friend of ours went mad and wallpapered the ceiling with vintage-style botanical print – sounds bonkers right?! But because you only spend a few minutes there, it’s more like admiring a jewellery box than living with busy wallpaper 24/7. Make bold choices in these rooms because you’re not sat living with it all day like you would your kitchen or lounge.
Flooring was last job to do. And here’s where being tiny actually worked in our favour. Those gorgeous cement tiles I’d been eyeing up online for the kitchen were WAY out of budget for sixty square metres.
Cover. But for the FOURSquare Metres we needed it for the downstairs toilet? Lightbulb moment.
Picked up some beauties with a subtle geometric pattern at Topps Tiles (opens in new tab) reduced end-of-line sale and even full price it would only have set us back about £150 for the entire room. Tile-advice-update-for-previous-paragraph-you-can-actually-use-leftover-kitchen-tiles-for-areas-like-this-as-long-as-you’re-not-too-fussy-about-the-pattern-match-Learning-by-doing-I-now-know-but-would-have-loved-to-know-when-we-done-it…” Cutting and laying it was easy enough – watched YouTube videos, borrowed a tile cutter from Danny’s brother-in-law and Bob’s your uncle. Installed it over a weekend.
Made the mistake of butting the tiles up too close to the toilet base (you have to leave room for the wee-thangs to move) but as everything else is straight lines it doesn’t look too crappy. And let’s face it, nobody’s scrutinising your grout lines when they’resatpeeding-toilet gods willing. The finished result I’m actually so proud of.
Sounds sad saying that about a toilet let me tell you, but transforming such a hated room into a little jewel box I love walking into makes me smile every day.
Every house guest comments on it now, where before no-one cared about ‘the cave.’ Taught me that sometimes it’s the smallest jobs that can make the biggest difference and you know what they say…proudlyBritishWee. Cost-wise i’d say the whole lot was probably about £200 all in.
Including paint, light fitting, mirror, shelf timber and tiles. Not cheap y’gether but split over a couple of months it wasn’t too badly on the old wallet. Plus the return-on-investment has to be the best of any room we’ve redecorated.
Pound for pound the toilet tinies where it’s at. Could’ve went far more pricey had I wanted to too. Crazy expensive floor tiles for example; as long as it’s SMALL, you can get away with spending more money there than you would a big space.
As I say, worst case scenario you’ll only need to repaint it if you decide to change it up. I’ve since helped friends do their downstairs toilets and the same principle applies. Treat them like loo versions of Kirstie Allsopp’s (opens in new tab) ‘jewel boxes’ and have fun with them!
Don’t be scared to go wild with a statement wallpaper or paint colour, invest in one or two nice fixtures rather than lots of cheap bits and bobs and remember that ultimately everyone’s only going to be sat there for a few minutes so you can get away with lots of crazy stuff you wouldn’t normally risk elsewhere in the house.
