Half of us think a white sideboard is the most trustworthy piece of furniture you can buy, it conceals nothing. The other half think that’s precisely what’s wrong with it, it reveals everything, every fingerprint, every coffee ring from the mug someone claimed didn’t need a coaster for literally two seconds, every scrape from the school bag carelessly dragged along the floor as someone rushes out the door. Both are correct, which is irritating, neither have budged on this since buying it three years ago.
What nobody disputes is how useful it becomes. We bought it specifically to store plates on, and our nicer glasses that we only take out twice a year. By week two it was storing our router (why do they never fit in cabinets), a bowl that we don’t actually put fruit in, a pile of takeaway menus we have smartphones to read now and one glove. Just one glove that has been living there for so long it would be embarrassing to throw it away now.
Apparently this is the destiny of all sideboards.
We were sold storage.
Instead we gave it all our junk that doesn’t know what shelf it wants to sit on.
It’s become our unofficial in tray.
Where the white has scored over the dark wood sideboard we had previously is it makes the room look cleaner than it is way longer than it’s sibling ever did. Until it doesn’t. And you’re right back at square one, wondering why you didn’t buy the walnut version that caught your eye.
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Person 1 bought the high shine version originally and regrets that decision every time they see a fingerprint. Person 2’s less glossy option has since replaced it and everyone is happier. Except the matte sideboard still looks like it’s been violently attacked by a toddler with a cracker and that is because it has.
The legs. Do we want them to be slim and sit proud of the ground so we can hoover behind it, or should they be pushed right down to the floor because whenever anyone wheels something past they nick slightly and I WILL NOTICE. You both learn to look the other way.
But just try telling that to someone who’s making a mountain out of it.
When we do all agree on something — and trust me you should make a note when we do this — is that we don’t realise how handy it is until guests come over and you need an extra shelf fast.
Suddenly every random mug and plate that’s been cluttering up your kitchen counter for the past week is tucked away neatly inside.
It takes all of a minute to shove everything inside and out of sight. Nobody at your dinner party needs to know the cupboard door nearest the wall doesn’t close all the way, and doesn’t that know it unless you lift it first either. Thank God for sideboards.
Would we recommend it? In a heartbeat. Buy it again tomorrow? In a heartbeat. Maybe go matte this time though. And yes person 1 will still buy the leggy one just to spite Person 2.
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