One of us has finally unprompted confessed that she spent four years banging on about how white cots were a terrible idea for any home with a toddler capable of flicking toothpaste across the room and a dog with mud covering its paws weekly, only to be proven wrong. Properly wrong. White enough that despite TWO CHILDREN crawling, rolling, dribbling and climbing into that cot the poor thing is still white, while the sofa looks like someone slaughtered a pet live on it. Nobody asked her to confess. She just blurted it out in the middle of a conversation about something completely different. The way you happily admit things when enough time has passed that it no longer embarrasses you.
Here’s the thing about white cots no-one tells you about.
You wait for it to get ruined.
You drape blankets over it and plot non-white furniture around it, prepare your life for the moment your child vandalises their bedroom furniture.
But it never happens. Not to the cot. No.
The cot gets away clean. The rest of your house will suffer.
Half of us are staunchly against scuffing, naturally. Cot bumpers, teething rails, all that baby snot that collects in one gargantuan hairy glob on the rail because every baby develops that like it’s a newborn club badge. Yes, half the reason you get white is to highlight every tiny mark within the first six weeks. Which will either terrify you or bore you rigid when your house already comes with yogurt spots on the ceiling; we don’t ask.
White photographs beautifully. And in case you were parenting in a denims-and-disposable-thinking vacuum, that matters way more than you want to admit when you think about how many pictures you take of your sleeping newborn in their nursery in the first year. Nothing sets off a nursery quite like white.
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It makes it look complete when it actually still lacks half the furnishings and your hand-me-down curtains are still kicking around in a bag by the entrance.
Ours came beige, but two of us painted it white with the leftover tester pot from the skirting boards.
Don’t do that.
We all advise against that now it’s happened. But it worked. And now it looks like it was always that colour, which should be illegal.
We united on the mattress, until we realised that’s where the lines were drawn. You either side with a crisp white sheet set to match, nothing else can touch that baby furniture, or you think people who do that are idiots because hello nursery prison cell. Yes, there are extremists on both sides. But the latter team thinks white is the calm base to then chuck tonnes of colourful stuff on top.
(Fun fact – white cots sell on way better than the natural wood ones three of us bought. Who knew? )
You buy it for the Pinterest dream version of the room you imagine your baby inheriting. Because the room will change six hundred and fifty seven times before they gracieously moonbat into it and the cot is the one thing that stays constant through every single thumbnail.
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