Last month I found myself back in the showroom of a bathroom supply store explaining to yet another salesman that I wasn’t trying to decorate “the aesthetic of masculinity.” Charcoal grey everything. Pinned back flowers. Those god awful Edison bulbs that are basically horsed necklights from the 1800s.
Pipe. Can’t forget the copper pipe. You can’t have masculine bathroom unless it’s oozing pipe everywhere.
He started rattling on about “masculine inspired design trends” and I lost it. Had to walk out.
Why the hell did “masculine bathroom design” become synonymous with “Beer commercial background pavement pit toilet?” Look.
I get it. Guys have been conditioned to ignore their bathrooms for FAR too long. So when we do eventually decide to tackle that lipstick red wallpaper, we opt for whatever builder approved options are available to us.
But guys. The most stylish men I know aren’t dressing their bathrooms in leftover scraps from industrial parks. Take my girlfriend’s brother, James for example.
Whenever someone comes over to his house they ALWAYS comment on his bathroom. “Whoa. Your bathroom IS stunning.” Cream coloured walls. Custom walnut vanity.
Those brass taps are his favourite, love how the patina has built up over time. Terrazo tile floors are to die for. There’s nothing masculine about his bathroom decor, but holy hell it’s a grown ass adults bathroom.
It’s one where you actually enjoy spending time getting ready instead of rushing to throw clothes on so you can leave ASAP. RIGHT ON HOW AIR LIKE YOU’RE MAKING A PIT STOP AT I-95 SOUTH!!!!!!! ! So that’s what I wanted our bathroom to feel like.
I wanted it to feel grown-up, and refined without resorting to excessive “design flare.” Painting your bathroom Dove Grey and hanging a shit ton of iron pipe does not make your bathroom masculine. In fact, sometimes less is MORE when it comes to great design. Colours- Everyone thinks the best bathroom palette for a guy’s room is gonna be dark and moody.
If anything I found that the total opposite actually worked best for us. We painted our main bathroom walls a soft cream colour Benjamin Moore’s White Dove, and it instantly made the space feel twice as big. Mix in warm, but natural tones and your design will feel collected.
Instead of painting your walls, let your materials do the talking. Dark marble countertops with lush veining. Brushed brass tap that aren’t pretending to be something they’re not.
This old runner I snagged from a garage sale for $15. There’s not one bold design choice in my bathroom and that’s what makes it feel so calm and luxurious. Spend some time thinking about the colours you’re going to incorporate into your bathroom.
For every “masculine” design trend out there there’s a BETTER alternative that doesn’t sacrifice function for style. Trust me, I learned that the hard way with this laundry bathroom remodel back when I first moved into my flat. Painted it this charcoal grey colour to feel all sophisticated and rugged.
Fast forward to morning when I’m getting ready for work. It’s DARK in there. Like could barely see what I was doing sorta dark.
Not to mention how filthy it looked under that bright fluorescent light. Moral of the story: paint your bathroom a nice, light colour. And if you DO go with dark paint like I did -upgrade your lighting.
Tip 1: Dark colours + Bright lighting = Will probably make your bathroom look like a crime scene DO NOT DO IT. Lesson learned. Painted the damn thing six months later & never looked back.
Switched the walls to this warm sage green colour and suddenly it felt inviting. Who knew something as simple as paint colour could make that much of a difference. Lighting is another thing I feel like guys obsess about.
Guys need good lighting to shave/play videogames/cheque their handsome faces off in the mornings. Get STRONG overhead lighting that illuminates the entire room. No one enjoys applying face cream/concealer under dim Edison bulbs that make you look like the Final Girl’s next victim.
I opted for these wicked bod Barska lights from Amazon instead. Hung them on either side of the mirror so that I had even lighting across my face with no shadows. About $150 at Screwfix but were totally worth it.
Also cut down on number of times I accidentally cut myself shaving because I was too lazy to turn on a second light bulb. DOES NOTS SOUND LIKE A GUY PROBLEM TO YOU GUYS? ? Storage was actually my biggest design gripe with every “boys bathroom” I saw.
Sure they look cool as fuck on Instagram but have you ever tried to live in that? The open shelving, exposed drywall countertops are great for highlighting all your goodies.. until you actually have to use the bathroom every day. I WANT my toiletries stored away until I need them.
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I DON’T want to create some open display of grooming products that feel more like museum exhibit than an actual functioning bathroom. Keep things closed with medicine cabinets, vanity drawers with compartments, maybe even add a tall cabinet you can CLOSE!!!! That’s not trendy or modern but it will make your life happier and easier.
Couldn’t find any vanities that I really loved so eventually I circled back to idea of getting something custom built. Had a local carpenter build me this solid oak beauty with soft-close drawers. Honestly wasn’t the cheapest route compared to Ikea crap you can buy but hasn’t warped or budged an inch in the three years we’ve lived here.
If you’re going to invest in ONE crazy expensive item for your bathroom make it your vanity. Last up is texture. God texture is important, don’t forget about it.
If you’re anything like me you gravitate toward weathered materials that exude toughness; worn leather, distressed wood, etc. but there’s another category of textures that feels just as masculine- softer ones. Linsey shower curtains instead of glass doors. Look, I know what you’re about to say BUT THEY ADD SO MUCH needed softness to your space.
Natural fibre rugs that aren’t awful to stand on barefoot. Switch out chrome shower fixtures for brass. Take your space from cold and industrial to warm and inviting by simply changing the finishes on certain fixtures.
Men ALSO tend to make bad choices when it comes to their showers. Big beautiful rainfall showerheads? Don’t care.
All I want is for the water to FUCKING STREAM OUT OF THE TAP. Cheap tile that shows EVERY drip of water EVERYWHERE?! Give me smooth porcelain tiles that mimic stone but wipe down instantly.
Speaking of showers… guys take way longer showers than women. Hell, I do. Just accept it.
Because of this we NEED better ventilation in our bathrooms to offset the additional steam / moisture we create during our grooming rituals. Find yourself a beefy exhaust fan that isn’t your kitchen ranges two year old sibling. I got this oversized bad boy from Amazon and haven’t looked back.
My mirror doesn’t fog up anymore when I step out of the shower; towels actually dry; and there isn’t some weird stagnant moisture smell that lingers around every time you walk into my bathroom. PS. Plants DON’T make your bathroom “feel less masculine.” I got this beautiful Snake Plant in the corner of my bathroom that loves the humidity and actually adds some flair to my bathroom without trying too hard.
Plants are hard, I kill them all the time but yet I keep this baby alive so YES YOU CAN HAVE PLANTS IN YOUR BATHROOM. Moral of the story: Don’t be afraid to deviate from “typical masculine designs standards.” Took me buying the wrong sized mirror on line to realise that half the stuff I liked online wasn’t going to work with the dimensions of OUR bathroom. That beautiful mirror I bought from Made. com was beautiful.. online.
Comes home and it literally takes up an entire wall of our bathroom. Instead of making the room feel open and inviting it NOW felt cluttered and small. Sold it for half the price I paid on Facebook and found something that was proportional to our space.
Measure twice, buy once. Takes PRACTISE to get design things right. You will drive yourself insane trying to get every little detail correct the first time.
It took me a few different light fixtures before I found what worked best for me. First tried installing these sage coloured pendant lights on either side of the bathroom mirror. Not nearly enough light and god did it cast the weirdest shadows when I tried shaving.
Went back to the basics and found these wall mount fixtures with soft white LED lights. Perfect amount of lighting to view all my glorious man skin. Look at all the coolest “stud” bathrooms out there and you’ll notice they ALL look the same.
Distressed dark woods, ultra metallic finished everything, and enough pipe to rebuild Ridgeway Pipe & Supply. My boyfriend works in construction so he gets sent home with left over scraps all the time. Have him drop off a box of pipe JUST because you can doesn’t mean YOU SHOULD.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the designs that bleed into “stud flat” trends but guess what? The GOATS; The most stylish men I actually know (my buddies from college, teachers growing up, my girlfriends father – king of helping me stage our house) don’t have flats that feel like downtown brewery cafes. Their flats don’t shout masculinity from the rooftops.
It’s elegant, functional and most importantly reflect THEM.
Make sure your bathroom reflects you as well. Don’t autumn into the hairy chests vs sun kissed skin debate.
Design a space that is you. Sophisticated. Inviting.
AND functions how YOU need it to. Don’t feel obligated to cheque off every single one of these “masculine decor” boxes. I didn’t and still love how our bathroom turned out.
Pro-tip – Took us about eight months to redo our bathroom. We started it then finished it based on our work schedules which also spread out the costs. Didn’t happen over night but we didn’t break the bank either.
