One of us confessed last week, unprompted, that she bought quilted placemats with cork backing for four years because she believed cotton placemats would “just get ruined immediately” before being forced into lighter, brighter fabrics by virtue of inheriting a set of six in a handy house move mishap. Four years. Of placemats that she didn’t like. Nobody forced her words out of her, but she unloaded them all the same and then sat quietly for a moment while everyone stared at her like it was AA.
The cotton ones are the ones you use. They’re practical. They look cheerful and they get washed.
The cork backed ones might look tidy and business-y but they gather dust twice a year when you take everything off the table to sort out which bits everyone hates.
Cotton gets thrown in with the tea towels on a Tuesday and is ready to go again by lunchtime Wednesday, and nobody cares if there’s a dribble stain because they were £9.99 for a set of six and we’ll all admit that.
That being said.
We have divided opinions when it comes to colour and we’re not sugar-coating it, guys. Half the team prefer neutral, beige, plain-Jane colour ways that will disguise any last-minute pancakes landing on the table and the other half loudly disagrees, saying those are the colours that breed beige dining tables that look like clinic waiting rooms. We bought a bright yellow and white checked set once to try and settle the score and rather than finishing the argument it just gave both sides another example to hurl at each other.
I know they stain. That’s the point, they stain. Tomato sauce, beetroot, gravy, red wine. We’ve run the full spectrum and survived to tell the tale but seriously, if yours don’t get stained by your toddler’s entire dinner one day you’re simply lucky. But better to look like you use and love your dining table than plastic sits so crinkly with love somebody actually bought them doesn’t stain and it’ll show. You know it, I know it.
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The other problem we don’t agree on? Laundry. Specifically, ironing them. Half the team refuse to let the other side hear it, but yes, some of us iron placemats.
We’ve got a drawer for them even.
The others argue it’s extra effort that could be spent washing them more often, and to be fair to them they’re right.
Nobody has ever had their dinner enjoyment lessened by a slightly scrunched up placemat.
But what we all agree on? They collapse at your elbows when you’re done eating. They really fold down small and that’s worth more than it sounds when you’re a family who likes to own four sets on rotation and have limited kitchen drawer-space. Cork options almost take up a shelf to themselves. Cotton stacked will take up about as much room as a folded sweater and also nobody’s ever tripped over a placemat at midnight rummaging for chips when hostilities with the cardboard-backed variety were still occurring. That’s not nothing.
So we splurge on them. One set rotates out when we decide on a new contender and before you know it, we’ve gathered round the table and done it all over again. Stocking up on placemats has basically become our tradition.
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